Dom Talos – For the modern deviant

Part 1: Where to start – For your and your legacy partner

I hope that the introduction helped reassure you and that you are still with me. I highly recommend bookmarking this blog and taking your time with it; not out of my own pride, it’s because I will get into great detail and you will have a LOT to read up on. Buckle up, we’re going to cover where to start, what to do to find a Dominant, during the ongoing experience, and what the hell to do when things change (because they often will).

Know what you are looking for and WHO you are looking for – This may come off as obvious but it’s an essential revisit even if you already know or believe you do. The concept of bottom/topping/subbing/Dominating someone is not a clear case – wants and needs are different for every situation/dynamic, it’s important to know for certain what you, the submissive in this case, desires in a D/s relationship.

For some people, it’s about the power exchange; giving someone else the power to decide your actions and to a fault, what happens to you. For others, it’s about receiving sensual, sadistic attention; whether you are physically masochistic or enjoy limited and/or public humiliation. Perhaps you enjoy being bound, either by ropes, straps, handcuffs, or maybe even red vines. Maybe you are a combination of all or some of the above or more.

I honest suggest that you write out, either by hand or online via word document; what you desire FROM a Dominant. This is a good exercise for both your partner and for your Dominant if you desire to share it with them when you are finalizing your connection to them. I will also suggest later on that you write up a similar note on what you EXPECT from said Dominant but we will get into that later.

Defining Boundaries – For you and your legacy partner

One of the most important steps for a pairing to discuss after the partner desiring to sub/bottom for someone Boundaries. It’s just as important as the interested partner setting their boundaries as the supporting partner needing to state their boundaries. In order to make this work, any of it, it’s important that this conversation be clear, thorough, and continuous.

I suggest starting off with both partners making a list of boundaries. Be excessively obvious, even if you think, in any way, that your partner already knows these things. I suggest this because there are a lot of unconscious, assumed behaviors that can eclipse consent and boundaries that we all tend to overlook when being in a dedicated relationship; ESPECIALLY if it’s gone on for years. Things that seem trivial or silly turn into trip wires for land mines that can cause significant emotional damage to all involved, including the Dominant themselves, if they get emotionally invested at all.

For most people, it is very much considerations like respecting the legacy relationship and standard social norms. For some, it could be anything from a particular sex toy that is unique to the couple, whether or not the shared bed can be used, to restaurants that are sentimental to one or both partners, even whether or not anal play is fair game. Specifically, it’s about what is on what I call the ‘sacred list’, things that one or both partners need to be kept sacrosanct; things too important to be fucked with.

I view boundaries just as they are described; you are setting up the area for both what is acceptable but also creating a space where play can happen safely. Boundaries are the structures of the dungeon play space, a foundation for expectations and interests to stand on so you can focus and enjoy the experience on both sides of the interest; both the supporting partner feeling secure and the interested partner feeling supported.

Collaring Conversation – For you and your legacy partner

Another important conversation to have in the early stages of the interest being addressed is what both partners feel in regards to collaring. It’s a common enough practice that I’m assuming many people are familiar with it but I will go into detail for clarity’s sake. Collaring, per my perspective of it, is a promise and a commitment, either for a limited time or on-going, between a Dominant and a submissive. Whereas a ‘collar’ itself, is a physical object that can either be symbolic for a collared relationship and/or simply a temporarily employed device during a scene.

Collaring and the Collar itself is very much a fluid concept, even if it’s primary consideration is semi-widely agreed and observed. It is important that both partners in the legacy relationship know and agree upon what the expectations and application mean in the context of this interest. I state this very clearly because it’s possible that one partner may view collaring as a casual matter whereas the other considers it quite possessive and they are not comfortable with it.

What is important in this matter is that both parties agree in advance what the expectations are to this interest. Moreover, agree upon what it means to have a collared submissive; are you both comfortable, maybe even desire, the interested sub in being collared by their potential Dominant? Do you view this solely as a fetish or a deeper commitment? Some members of the kink community view it as an exclusivity action, one akin to marriage itself. Or just a handfasting. Others as just a play collar.

I do not make any recommendations myself in this regard only because it’s really depending on what both partners want and agree on. That is the most important factor. If it ends up being a deal breaker, it’s very important that it happens early on, and not after it’s happened in a scene. I’ve seen it first hand when this isn’t addressed as one of the first aspects of the relationship dynamic and it will break legacy partnerships fast. Please take your time and know this right away before you seek a Dominant.

Frequency and Type of Relationship – For you and your legacy partner

One of the most important aspects of having an external relationship is knowing what the comfortable availability exists for an external relationship. It’s really easy to get excited about a new relationship, brimming with new relationship energy, and you get lost in how much you are investing in this new relationship and how much you are not paying attention to your legacy partner (we’ll go into how to handle this later).

It’s important to address what the expectations are with your legacy partner prior to addressing/adding a new one so you are both on the same page. In the non-monogamous world, you are starting up a secondary relationship and it’s important to make sure to priority your time, attention, and interest there first. But also it is important to make time for your secondary to keep the relationship healthy.

My recommendation is that your secondary on average should have about the same amount of time and attention as a part time job is; especially if there isn’t a life track present with them. 10 to 20 hours a week on average in my mind is healthy and I would suggest keeping it on the low end in the beginning for anyone just starting out so you don’t burn out your legacy partner and suddenly they are very done with the idea entirely.

NOTE: Now you will notice I used a part time job as a comparison for an external relationship and that is because of this: a secondary relationship needs to be very specific part of your life with concrete boundaries and determinations. The number one reason non-monogamy situations meltdown or have a polyplosion as I call it is because boundaries are either not present and/or they are not observed, as well as expectations not aligned. It’s why I keep bringing them up, especially at hot points that have caused conflict in the past for myself and want to save you the pain.

Hardline Limitations – For you and to a degree, your legacy partner

Hardline limitations are not boundaries per se but are kink/sexual deal breakers. This can range everything from a mild disinterest to a consent violation waiting to happen. Boundaries are about maintaining integrity in a relationship in comparison to a Hardline limitation; a hardline is something that often only affects the interested party ONLY and on rare occasion the legacy partner (thus the ‘to a degree’ disclaimer above.)

To explain further, this is something that could be fine for your legacy partner but for you personally is not an option and/or not comfortable for you to address. It’s why I make a clear delineation between the two – it’s about self autonomy in this application, or a personal boundary if you will. I do not want this muddled in a relationship boundary, it needs to be expressly and explicitly stated so it doesn’t get lost.

A hardline could be many things; it could be age play, urine or feces play, specific roleplaying roles (bigotry, gender degrading, profession play, etc), animal/puppy/pony play, or medical play. It doesn’t have to be something that you are scared of, just anything that is full on going to throw a scene and/or make you uncomfortable enough to displace the secondary relationship.

NOTE: I know, me and my damn notes, I’m terribly sorry. Truly. I stress the importance of knowing where the interested party is at when going into a secondary relationship because it’s a high charged connection that does not have the same level of security, certainty, and commitment that a life partner does. But somehow it can break you that much more because of this imbalance so being prepared and aware is important. It’s beautiful and fragile so it’s important to be ready for it.

Space and Time Expectations – For you and your Legacy Partner

On the practical side of this experience, there is a matter regarding spatial and time expectations and commitments. Where is a comfortable space for the interested party and the Dominant to play? To have sexual activities of any kind if that is on the table? Does it need to happen outside of the house or maybe even inside the house? How long is roughly a sensible time to spend in said space and what time would it happen?

Another aspect if you have children, roommates, or family members outside of the legacy relationship present in the living space (pretty common these days) is having a safe space to store any implements, toys, tribute (from or for the Dominant), jewelry, or even play furniture or rope for shibari that is away from outside involvement. This helps improve the experience emotionally as well as generally keep things openly comfortable.

In my experience, I’ve had good luck with what I would call… Practical misdirection. I used to and still store many of my kink toys in a tool box; a decent sized one with a loop for a padlock is a great idea. It can readily be conceived as simply tools and depending on it’s placement, it can be very conveniently ignored by prying eyes. I would suggest though to make sure to keep working tools visible to avoid, ah, awkward moments. 😀

Safety Communication – For you and your legacy partner

This is an important section for the interested partner to have for themselves specifically but also for the knowledge to the legacy partner. Safety communication is the broad category I put ‘safe words’ into but I expand this consideration into it’s own bullet point and necessary in scene work I do with anyone, including my spouse as it’s vital. Moreover safety communication brings in non-verbal communication and responses in case the bottom is gagged, limited, or struggles with verbalizing while in sub space.

I put this in pre-search section because there are phrases and preferences that the interested partner should already have in mind when they find a Dominant because it’s their safety and security that needs to be the focus here and taken with utmost seriousness. You can and most certainly discuss this with the Dominant during the negotiation phase but having your own firm answers is important – your safe words and phrases need to be yours and yours alone – so you can use them when you need to.

Many people are familiar with Safe words used in the Traffic Light configuration because it has strong cognitive recognition and if nothing less, this definitely needs to be the least anyone uses for safety communication. Green means go on a check in, Yellow is offered by the sub when they need to have whatever is happening slowed down/changed, and Red is full scene stop with a check in with the Dominant to address issues on a physical, mental, emotional, and personal level.

Other versions/alternatives is having a singular safe word that is chosen by the bottom and communicated to the Top/Dominant that is effectively a Red or scene stop. I’ve seen situations where the Top/Dominant gives the word to the bottom but it’s not a safe way to approach things because effectively you are telling the bottom that you in control of their safety and not the other way around. The bottom/sub needs to pick the word, communicate it to the Top/Dominant, and it’s observed when it’s used.

What I use in addition to safe words is Safe Phrases; the best practice I’ve used so far for example is asking “Where are you right now?” The responses from the bottoms have three different standing answers that represent the Traffic signal style communication but in a ‘happy place, awkward place, bad place’ sort of syntax. This allows the Dominant to check in with the bottom throughout the scene experience to gauge where they are at and not waiting for the bottom to have an adverse reaction.

The happy place response could be, “Safe and warm in your arms” or “In my happy place” or “At home in my bedroom, safe and sound” – it can be descriptive and specific to the bottom, just as long as it is understandable for the Dominant. The yellow or not safe but not yet in danger state could be, “I’m turned around,” or “I’m at Sea”, or “I’m naked at school and I can’t find my clothes”, again, specific metaphoric or unique phrases. Finally Red or ‘scared and I need to stop’ is often, “I’m lost at Sea”, or “I’m alone in the dark”, or “I’m trapped and I can’t get out.”

In addition to any or all of that; I also recommend setting a few non-verbal signals that you can use while in scene time – one with sounds and one with hand and/or feet gestures. This way if the interested partner needs to have the scene to stop and are either gagged, or unable to respond any other way due to loud sounds or how they are facing the Dominant, etc. I suggest three taps of a limb (hand or foot) for contact signals and/or stomping your feet if you are standing.

Finally – there is ‘Safe Departure’. Safe departure is the option that the sub/bottom reserves if they are feeling unsafe enough, either for internal or external reasons, and needs to not only leave a scene, but leave the entire location to either go home or to a different location to their legacy partner. This phrase is a parachute option for emergencies where the sub/bottom needs to not receive touch or contact from the Dominant and needs to return home to their legacy partner.

In the event that ‘Safe Departure’ is used, it needs to be observed by the Dominant to step entirely out of the scene, make sure that the sub/bottom gets home safely, and wait to hear back from them when they are able to speak/communicate. Realistically, I would recommend a 24 to 36 hour agreed upon window for this option so Dominant isn’t left hanging on, wondering what happened. It is important that the Dominant be as understanding as possible, do not attempt to address or comfort, and wait to hear what happened.

Ideally, this is only something that happens once if ever but it is meant to be a fail safe that is present for both to be used as an option and to give the sub/bottom knowledge that if they need to leave due to a panic attack of grave nature or significant enough trigger that they will be able to do so without being talked out of it. Even though it’s a risk leaving a scene without aftercare, it’s assumed in this context that they will receive aftercare from their legacy partner and follow up with the Dominant later on.

Filling out the Kink Experience/Interest checklist – For you and your legacy partner (if they are interested)

Over the years, I have compiled an ever growing Experience and Interest checklist that has been considerably useful when first starting a relationship and/or just a good check in with your partner(s) to see if their interests have changed either direction over time. I will have a link at the top and the bottom of the checklist so you can find it easily!! It’s very comprehensive and I appreciate any feedback that you might have!!!

There are several good websites out there that will help you narrow down your interests but as a reminder, even taking my work into consideration as well, remember all of this is speculative at best on your needs. Take your time and know what appeals to you; it may surprise you. I once helped a partner realize they enjoyed spanking when I gave them a light, playful spank ONCE and it completely woke something in them.

Aftercare Expectations – For you and your legacy Partner

Aftercare is an important part of any scene and in general a mentality and expectation. Moreover, especially after really intense BDSM scenes, it’s important that a Dominant check in with their bottom for at least the first few days to make sure that their ‘scene drop’ or emotional undertow from the scene, doesn’t significantly tax them. Both of these considerations are Aftercare and need to be a part of every BDSM relationship.

It’s essential that you and your legacy partner have a thorough conversation on Aftercare expectations, both for their sake and yours. It is very much possible that a Dominant will do their best to assist with Aftercare but cannot give the level of care that a submissive needs, either due to other life commitments, distance, circumstance, or even boundaries for you, your legacy partner, or even the Dominant themselves.

It is also possible that you and/or your partner prefer that you receive Aftercare from them instead of the Dominant, or maybe additional Aftercare after the fact. There is also a third and final kind of Aftercare in my mind, which is legacy reconnection after a heavy scene, which helps legacy couples/units reconnect for reassurance and confirmation that everything is indeed okay. I will go into detail on this later on in this blog post.

Despite what you take into consideration on the volume of information I just laid out, I highly recommend that you and your legacy partner know what at least the preferences are on a expectation level prior to looking for a partner. It is possible and even likely that these terms will change as a part of negotiations with the Dominant but knowing where you both stand prior to this discussion is vital so you are on a unified level.

NOTE: From personal experience; I do not recommend ever passing on Aftercare or allowing it to be dismissed, either by circumstance or by choice. There is ‘scene drop’ and there is something nastier after that called ‘scene fallout’ where it can be very traumatizing and damaging. It is important that you receive this and need to factor it into plans or it can be very, very emotionally costly for everyone involved.

Social Status – Visibility in the Community, Online, Etc. – For you and your legacy Partner

Last but not least on this list of things to preemptively consider, is where you and your legacy partner feel about social status of the potential Dominant/submissive relationship. This is over and above collaring and specifically about how the kink community views your D/s relationship as per you and your legacy partner. Like Aftercare considerations, this may change but you should know before starting a connection so you have a predetermined reaction prior to discussion/changes.

It’s an important factor on a social level because people will view the interested party and their potential Dominant as a couple of their own right. It seems trivial but it can catch legacy partnerships off guard a bit (or a lot) if they are not prepared for this. It is, in many ways, the capstone of the matters to consider – do you want to keep this relationship private or is it something that you want to or need to share with people? The Kink world is its own little pocket of the demi-culture so it’s good to think about.

Moreover, it’s because Dominants (as well as submissives) do pride themselves on their partners, not unlike Regency style courts used to a few centuries back. They enjoy showing each other off, and if there is a public kink space that people share, it’s normal for people to have power exchange play in public amongst their peers. Is this something you are comfortable with? Do you desire it? Do you abhor it? It is an opportunity that will very likely come up so having a preemptive response is important.

It really comes down to, as well, terminology. How does the interested party want to be seen by the Dominant? Or in public? Are you a rope bunny, a bottom, a puppy, a kitten, a pony, a submissive, or even perhaps prey if you into Primal play (another blog post will follow on this front)? Are you looking for a Top, a Dom, a Domme, a Keeper, a Owner, or even a Predator? What sort of dynamic are you looking for? Who are you looking for?

NOTE: One last note for this section – You will notice I did not use the terminology, ‘a slave’ or ‘a master’ in this area. This is not an oversight but a firm suggestion against such a dynamic regarding externalized D/s relationships while there is a legacy one. Master and slave relationships, both in my mind and personal experience, should not be attempted with a legacy partnership in place because it can be violently disruptive and can readily ruin and change lives with extremely little notice and regard. This level of kink intimacy can be very encompassing and changes lives very quickly.

I have the utmost respect and appreciation of Master and Slave relationships to be clear. There are some situations where this is a very plausible, healthy, and rewarding dynamic between two or more people. That situation is best addressed between primaries solely in my mind; attempting it outside of a such a union is dangerous and can be very upsetting as mentalities are quite different and very engrossing for secondaries relationships to maintain and/or just general practical application alone. If you do so over and above this warning, please be careful.

Contracts and Operating Agreements – For you and your Legacy partner

With the rise of post colonial modern interpretation of sadistic intimacy, has recently come with the option to have Contracts between a Dominant and submissives. This is a highly romanticized consideration that does have unto itself it’s own kink and fetish. There is also practical values for such a document as it puts into writing what the needs and expectations clearly for both/all parties involved to avoid conflict if possible.

In fair and full disclosure, I have not used contracts or operating agreements with any of my romantic, sexual, or kink partners. I tend to use what i refer to as continuous negotiation style approach (which is a whole blog post unto itself) whereas kink interests, expectations, and communications are constant and reassured frequently, even to the point of every instance we have ever played in to be sure they are safe.

My only thoughts on this is thus: I am not a lawyer and cannot/will not give legal advice. I do support the idea of using an operating agreement, which is designed to have basically everything I have talked about in writing but not legally binding in the sense of liability and tort law. I do advise against signing any legal agreement that is a non-disclosure agreement, binding or otherwise, nor an actual contract unless you are actually working with a bona fide professional Dominant. That’s just my suggestion.

Fluid Bonding and Exclusivity – For you and your legacy Partner

An important part of being non-monogamous or even if you are non-monogamous and haven’t considered it is fluid bonding and fluid exclusivity. Fluid bonding is on the contact spectrum; or the level of how much you are biologically interacting with another person. Fluid exclusivity is just as it sounds, the limitations of who you are fluid bonded with.

I highly recommend having this conversation in the beginning of a start up scene if possible, even if sex is not being considered at the time, so both partner’s interests and expectations have been addressed. You may not think at first that this is an issue until it is and it can come up unexpectedly, causing snags and conflicts with the legacy partnership.

This is something that we’re all understanding on a more practical level since experiencing a pandemic in our lifetimes and being germ bonded to someone; or if they are in your bubble if you will. You have regular contact with someone and thus are germ bonded with them if you share space with them without protection and barriers.

Same concept with fluid bonding – this can be anything from blood to semen primarily but can also include saliva, urine, and even feces. For the purpose of this article and most experiences, I am just going to focus on sexual fluids and somewhat into blood as a point of reference. I personally do not have much experience in urine or feces play as they are hard limits for myself so I will not attempt to advise on either of them.

Fluid bonding/exclusivity isn’t just about the fluid itself but the intents and expectations as boundaries for both partners. For instance, semen/vaginal fluid consumption may be acceptable but vaginal or anal receptions are not acceptable. Moreover, it’s often about safe sex practices but also about emotional and sexual boundaries and expectations. It’s been clinically proven that full contact sexual experiences heighten not only the experience but also biochemically changes the connection between the partners and shouldn’t be taken lightly, especially in high emotion situations like BDSM scene play.

I highly recommend that not only you have a deep conversation regarding what is comfortable, desired, and not desired regarding blood and bodily fluid play – including where and how each fluid/excretion is to be involved and/or accepted. This can include receiving, sending, maintaining, and preferences on how the Dominant factors into these desires and limitations. I suggest reviewing in detail, even if it feels obvious, to make sure everyone is on the same page.

I would honestly suggest from personal experience, assuming all partners are doing regular sexual hygiene checks and are not STI/STD active (and if so, are taking necessary precautions to not transmit/share their STI/STDs), to maintain fluid exclusivity with the legacy partnership at least on a genital level – use condoms if there is penetration, etc. I feel that it keeps a level of legacy intimacy in my mind so that the legacy partner feels that they still maintain some unique connection between them and the interested partner.

Mind you, and I’m totally walking back against myself on this, if it is desired or a fetish that the Dominant does indeed have unprotected sex with the interested partner, and becomes fluid bonded with them, I support this. I do recommend that if this is an option that all partners are supportive of (because at that point the Dominant in my mind is very much a partner), that there be a very solid understanding on who they are fluid bonded with as well (I’ll cover this twice more in this blog, don’t worry!).

Start the search – For you and your legacy Partner

I congratulate you if you have made it through all my previous points and feel ready to look for a Dominant! I know I put out a lot of points to look into and consider so it can be rather daunting but I assure you that they are beneficial despite their numbers and pays off greatly when you do find a Dominant that fits into your lives comfortably.

I do recommend that you take your time, ask all the questions I have and will suggest, and any others that come up or come to mind. This is a very intimate, personal relationship, even if sex isn’t involved, so making sure their connection to the interested partner and the legacy partner is a healthy one. I recommend reading the “Metamours Matter” blog I posted previously to see if that is something that would benefit in your new situation to ease the transition and generally make things less stressful.

Conversely, I also recommend in the case of a Dominant who is more of a D/s partner and less of an romantic interest, not to force connectivity between the legacy partner and the Dominant. If it works out organically, wonderful – it’s more of a benefit with a romantic partner as you will likely have more in common directly and socially speaking it’s move of a socially involved role in a common culture sense. But hey, you find someone who fits all the marks and it works, more power to you.

Look in the right places – For You

When searching for a Dominant, there are lots of options but it’s tricky because on a social level, this kind of relationship is often set or expected to be from your primary romantic partner. There isn’t really a dating app per se (yet) for subs seeking Doms.

NOTE: I do put this section as one of the only “For you” sections as it’s really something that the interested partner should do on their own at least initially. It’s important that they find who they are looking for and THEN discuss it with their legacy partner as matter of both trust and support in this endeavor.

If the legacy partner insists on picking someone out, they are in effect creating a form of D/s play called “partner control” which if approached without consent can really undermine and sabotage any romantic relationship rapidly. Moreover, if the legacy partner picks someone for the interested partner, it sets a controlling precedent that will erode the relationship between the Dominant and interested partner as they will have doubts on who to address first.

Finally, I honestly feel that if this is an instinct that comes up with the legacy partner to have, you should stop and heavily discuss moving forward with this venture as there is likely insecurity issues unaddressed that could be a disaster later on in the worst way. Please be safe if this comes up and talk it all the way through.

Do not let this social norm shame either you or your legacy partner; there is nothing wrong with outsourcing your sadism and there is nothing wrong with either of you – toxic hypergamy has brainwashed us all into believing that we need to ONLY seek our needs from a partner or through a socially accepted partner analog “best friend” and you are a horrible person for wanting it any other way – full on fuck that bullshit, you’re fine.

In my experience and knowledge, the best options go as follows and is entirely subject to change because the internet is involved and everything changes overnight:

Reddit – Honestly at this point, one of the best options you have in finding a Dominant that could fit is Reddit. This is because you can filter through subgroups that are moderated and broken down into interest and if you are fortunate enough, interest in cites/areas you live in so you aren’t telecommuting to get spanked. You can create a vague enough profile to lurk without any expectations and have enough point of separation that if someone goes hard troll on you, you can scrap the account and start over to break their efforts to locate you.

FetLife – I put this second for two reasons; one, this is more or less Dark Facebook and there is a lot more details necessary to have a reasonable profile and it’s geared more towards a community presence than it is looking for content and partners. The second reason is that it tends to be more forgiving towards Alt-Right groups and lets them peddle their racist behaviors as a fetish (when it’s not, I refuse to accept this). It is still very useful and a good place to work with but I recommend this one with caution and a dose of realism – profile management is difficult with limited options.

Social networking – I put this one third for a few reasons. It is very possible that you happen to know someone and connect with them enough that feeling out a D/s relationship could be an option. The tricky part is that whether people realize it or not, it does change the social atmosphere to a fault in a social setting when present friends start to play with D/s relationships. D/s is very much a social fetish, even if it’s one on one and shifts paradigms as well as social situations in a friend group.

Again, just a general disclaimer – I’m not saying ‘don’t do this’, just be wary that it is a consequence that things could get awkward if the social scene you frequent is more mainstream vanilla-normative and you suddenly start to sit at the feet of your friend Steve and you are married to Mike and most of your friends are married, cis, and heteronormative. Even if you don’t do this, you spend your time resisting that urge and it ends up pushing you away from the group because you have to conceal your natural behavior choices to not upset anyone.

Mind you, if you find yourself in a scene where such behavior is encouraged and supported, by all fucking means, go shopping, talk to people, find that Dom/Domme you are looking for. The other reason I suggest this third is that often times D/s kink play can get very intense and sometimes dramatic for the average social scene and if you have to step back, it could make things uncomfortable for general scene. If the social scene is more kink related, you can likely manage this more sensibly and people are more understanding because they have personal perspective.

Dating apps – I put this one fourth because really dating apps have two purposes; getting laid and getting into a romantic relationship in my option. Not that the potential isn’t there, it is – the issue is demand and interest. Most people use them to get laid or get into a romantic relationship so you will have filter through a sea of dick pix (even if you aren’t straight) only to find someone you might hit it off with and they only do light bondage work and D/s is way beyond them. I’m not saying don’t use it, just do so with a pinch of reason that it can be discouraging.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6