When you need to feel the pain and want/need someone other than your partner do it.
Introduction – Welcome to an Interesting Journey
First and foremost, I welcome you and/or your partner on the journey you are about to go on. If this is first foray into the bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism (BDSM), it can be a wonderful, rewarding experience if handled well with thought and communication with all parties involved. It is one of the most intense experiences a person can have.
I want to assure you that if you are having any doubts about this experience that troubles you and/or your partner, please talk with them and/or read all the resources you can to find that assurance one way or another. Please do not feel rushed or pressured, this is about experiencing Joy through a power exchange, taking your due time is paramount.
I should also point out that it’s very common that one partner in a couple has an interest in bottoming and/or being submissive on a deeper than casual sexual experience and the other does not.
Please do not feel ashamed, either of you, no one is right OR wrong, just different wiring. Sometimes it comes on later in life, after a person has achieved their life goals, sometimes it happens early on, it’s different for everyone.
I’m writing this blog as an act of guidance to those who are in this position but are not aware of how to approach such an opportunity to explore their options.
I am not the definitive source of these experiences, nor would claim to be the “true authority” on any subject, I offer what I have learned to help enlighten and support others alone. I want to share the knowledge I gained from these experiences to lessen any problems you may have but certainly feel the Joy from the experience.
I have several different personal experiences, both as a Dominant and as a submissive to understand this perspective. This include being both a Dominant and a sub to a standing or legacy relationship (two different situations) and being in a relationship while Top/Doming someone else. It can be very complicated, it will require a lot of communication, checking in, and support of one another – but it is worth the journey.
Blog Layout and Content – Where to go from Here
This blog ended up being more like a series of smaller blogs about several aspects about this opportunity so I’ve split the blog into five sections (not including this introduction section) so you can read the section that benefits you most. I will also include links to various important parts on this page so you can jump to them as they come up.
The blog is written primarily for legacy partners (i.e. couples already in an existing relationship) with a focus on the ‘interested partner’ in the first two sections as they are ones wanting to be in a D/s relationship outside of their legacy partnership. I highly recommend that both partners read everything for their understanding regardless of how it’s phrased and broken out.
The first section works on the conversation between the Legacy partners and having them have their expectations, desires, and limitations addressed.
The second section is about the interested partner approaching, negotiating, and working with a Dominant prior to any scene time.
The third section is about Active Play; best practice suggestions on how to handle interactions with both partners.
The fourth section is the Legacy Partner’s Toolbox to give the Legacy Partner their own support section.
The Fifth and final section is the Troubleshooting section called Game Changers for when something out of the ordinary happens outside of the original scope and focus of the blog.
The Legacy Partner’s Toolbox is written for the Legacy Partner to read (but everyone involved should read it too if they want) and the Game Changer Tips are for anyone/everyone in general so I won’t be subheading either of them. I put these two parts at the back of the blog because it’s value is continuous and not needed to be read in sequential order.
PLEASE enjoy and let me know if you have questions or concerns, I’m more than happy to help
Dom Talos
Dom Talos - For the modern deviant 
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